The Pleasure Cure

DON’T ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU WANT SOME ANSWERS

admin — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 20:38:50 +0000

You can spend hours, days, and even weeks and a lot of therapy trying to answer questions such as: Why do I get so angry? Why didn’t I get that job? Why did she dump me? There are times when it is good to look for answers, but there are other times when it is best to let it rest.

Questions cannot be answered with any accuracy. There are many answers to the same question; I could understand my anger, for example, to be rooted in some childhood trauma or I could understand it to be rooted in a need to manage stress. The answers we get depend on the book we are reading, the person we are talking to, or the time in which we answer the question. It may even depend on the weather.

When we ask questions we go into our heads (we think) and we remove ourselves from what we are experiencing in the moment. Looking for answers takes us away from just being. We spend a lot of time on Google or reading books looking for answers and we spend less and less time in a non-thinking state. To simply be and not ask questions lets us experience full contact with our experiences and ourselves. In a non-thinking state we experience the moment at hand with greater intensity.

Gestalt theorists state that a person grows when in full contact with the moment at hand. Full contact means being aware of an experience and not letting things such as fear, anxiety, sadness, or guilt interfere with the contact. This is a mindful, meditative, and non-thinking state and it promotes growth and access to a different form of knowledge.

Typically our source of knowledge is tangible and conscious, in the form of books, movies, dialogue, etc. However, we have access to a different source of knowledge. It is intangible and somewhat mystical. It is accessed through moments of not thinking. When we are in a state of non-thinking, we have access to knowledge that is beyond our conscious or physical experience. It comes to us in a state of being and non-thinking.

Scholars argue that taking a break from thinking and from looking for answers is crucial to the creative process. Often, brilliant solutions or thoughts surface when we are in a state of rest and relaxation and when we are not in direct pursuit of answers.

So, if you want different information about your life or about a situation, take a moment and don’t ask anything.

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Pleasure Seekers Will Find Happiness

admin — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:01:03 +0000

There is an ongoing debate on whether or not pleasure is the same as happiness. Most say that it is not. People argue that happiness is a long-term affair while pleasure is a fleeting experience. Because of the belief that pleasure doesn’t last, it is not considered to be a true form of happiness.

Pleasure is seen as something momentary and indulgent and not conducive to helping people become “better individuals.” Hence, the happiness one feels when going on a rollercoaster, for example, is seen as less valuable than the happiness one feels when engaging in community service because it is believed that going on a roller-coaster ride does not make you a better person.

The problem lies in the assumption that momentary or fleeting feelings of pleasure are not meaningful or growth producing in of themselves. In other words, we assume that eating a piece of chocolate, for example, does not contribute to long-term happiness because it is not growth producing or meaningful. I argue that it is meaningful, as long as pleasure is constructed as meaningful.

We have good reason to think that engaging in pleasure is meaningful. Research has found pleasure to be instrumental to our well-being. Hence, its pursuit should be considered meaningful as well. It is simply a matter of thinking about pleasure in a different way. ^.What we consider to be meaningful is determined by society. Activities can’t be meaningful unless somebody says that it is. Pleasure can be a meaningful experience if we decide that it should be. So, if one decides that the pursuit of pleasure is meaningful, then anything that gives us pleasure (including going on a roller-coaster ride) will be meaningful.

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What Can Pleasure Do For You?

admin — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 23:54:23 +0000

Researchers have determined that pleasurable activities account for 40% of our happiness. An increase in pleasurable activities will result in an increase in happiness. Consequently, the benefits derived from happiness are the same as those for pleasure. Following is a shortened version of the benefits we get from being happy. Read the book for many more…

Physical

Strong immune system
Longer life

Cognitive

Good memory
Clearer thinking and focus

Emotional

Self control and mastery
Self-esteem and self-regard

Social

Rich social interactions
Self-confidence

Global

Pro-social and charitable behavior
Regard and respect for the world

Work

Enjoyment satisfaction in work
Promotions/better evaluations

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HOW TO SURVIVE A RECESSION

admin — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:19:04 +0000

Check out the post I wrote for lifeoptimizer: HOW TO SURVIVE A RECESSION

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THE REWARDS OF UNHAPPINESS

admin — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:15:54 +0000

What do you do if there is an area in your life that doesn’t make you happy and is not very pleasurable?

I’ve thought and investigated unhappiness quite a bit and have come to a momentary flash of insight. The first thing you must do when feeling unhappy is to identify the beliefs that are involved in creating this unhappy and unpleasurable situation.

I will use myself as an example. I have always been at war with my body over my weight. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t trying to lose weight. So, I ask myself, “what are the beliefs that make up this unhappy situation?”

The belief for me is that I am fat. I know this is an irrational belief (because the weight charts state I’m normal) and I know that I should probably change it. Feeling and believing I am fat is not doing anything for my self-esteem, regardless of whether I am really fat or not. But, how do I change a belief that is irrational and has been a part of me for most of my life? I ask myself, “What are the emotional payoffs to this belief?”

My first answer is that feeling fat kept me from feeling beautiful. This answer isn’t very insightful, so I ask again, “What are the emotional payoffs to the keeping myself from feeling beautiful?” My next answer is that it gives me purpose or something to fight for (i.e. becoming beautiful). This simple exercise leads me to the conclusion that thinking of myself as fat is a way to give me purpose in life.

As you can see by this one example, emotional payoffs can be convoluted but once you identify them, beliefs are more open to change. I found out from this exercise that I need purpose and things to fight for. Hence, if I integrate more purpose into my life, the dissatisfaction I have towards my body weight may diminish or go away. I’m not sure whether this works quite yet, but I will let you know. My intent is to increase purpose in my life to determine whether this helps in changing my belief that I am fat. One thing doesn’t sound like it would be connected to the other, but our minds and behavior continue to be a great source of mistery.

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Dance Yourself Happy!

admin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:30:07 +0000

Psychology Today reports on a German study which found that tango dancers had lower levels of stress hormornes, higher levels of testosterone, and felt sexier and more relazed. Similarly a study at the University of New England found that participants engaging in tango had significant lower levels of depression than a control group who took no classes. Not big news to you who dance regularly, but an encouragement to those who do not!

Psychology Today Article

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Desperate? Reach For Your Playlist

admin — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:07:45 +0000

This year has been really really rough for me. I’ve had to come up with endless ways to keep my mood up. When I’m feeling especially discouraged, I reach for my special playlist. It contains pump-me-up music that will make any doubt and sense of defeat into an unnerving drive not to give up. I know that to do what I want to do things will be difficult and I will want to quite time and time again. The playlist has been life changing. If you don’t have one, I would urge you to create one.

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Another Life Changing Habit

admin — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:14:56 +0000

I’ve been running on and off for most of my life. Am I a marathon runner? No. I don’t even run longer or harder than I did when I first started. Today I got to thinking why I’ve stayed the same. Some of you will say, “what is so bad about staying the same?” I don’t think there is anything bad with it, but is there something better? I could stay the same, but can I feel better? Can I maximize the high I get from running. I think the answer is “Yes!”

There are many things in life in which we are complacent with the status quo. We don’t push for more. We are content with what we have. Anthony Robbins, my new cyber crush, says, “You will get from life exactly what you ask of it.” Likewise, Csíkszentmihályi, the author of “Flow”, talks about the ultimate high you feel when time stands still and you become completely immersed in the moment. Csíkszentmihályi states that in order to achieve Flow, one must challenge the limits of possibility. Meaning that if you are cooking, for example, feeling Flow requires that you challenge yourself to get better than the last time you cooked.

The notion of pushing yourself and going one step further than your customary limits can change your life. It is what makes a champion in any arena. When you push the limits of conformity you feel a drive and a purpose. And, it doesn’t relate solely to sports. Every day we do the same things over and over again. Do we ever try to do these things a little bit better every time? Do we ever stop to challenge the status quo? It could be anything from friendship, to brushing your teeth, to running.

I am challenging my limits and it has been life altering. I find myself feeling the high of accomplishment every day. Not only that, but I increase the pleasure I experience. For those of you who believe in a lifestyle without goals, accomplishments, or drive, I say that even this lifestyle can be an opportunity to take it to the next level. How far can you take the experience of not wanting. Let’s crank it up and see how far we can push experiences of exhilaration to new levels!

My Bio

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How To Be Happy

admin — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 22:30:58 +0000

STOP WAITING TO BE HAPPY!

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Lifestyle Design For Mothers

admin — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:39:11 +0000

The big thing right now is to sell all your stuff, pack some gear, and travel around the world. The idea is a great one because it motivates those who work hard to reevaluate their lives and to simplify. However, most of the people who advocate for this kind of lifestyle design are young men. What about those of us who can’t just pack and leave? Are we not entitled to a new lifestyle? I think we are. I am a mother who has redesigned her life.

The idea behind lifestyle design or changing your life is to make life more pleasurable or to create time to do other things besides work. You don’t have to sell all your stuff and move to the Caribbean to have pleasure. Actually for some people, it would be an indication of running away. I say that because in the past I have thought the solution to a dreary life was to simply go somewhere else. However, because I am a mother who cannot move anymore, I have been forced to find pleasure in what I have.

I have realized that a pleasurable life was right in front of me and I wasn’t taking advantage of it. It doesn’t take something drastic or amazing to give us pleasure. Most pleasurable things are rather simple and common. It is the act of valuing and looking for these simple pleasures that makes a difference.

The way I have created a new life has been by getting to know what pleasures me and expanding on those pleasures. Attending to pleasure has meant that I have had to be mindful of pleasure. The key has been to slow things down and pay attention to what I am feeling in my body. Now, instead of taking a walk and thinking about work, I take a walk and marvel at what I see, smell, and feel. The difference is life altering and it has changed my life. Making sure that pleasure is part of my every day life is the way I have designed my life as a mother.

Check out the rest of my site and book to get ideas on how to incorporate pleasure into your life.

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Interview At Lewis and Clark University

admin — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:56:26 +0000

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Happy People Live Longer?

admin — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:11:50 +0000

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How To Handle Obstacles When Changing Your Life

admin — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:28:38 +0000

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A PLEASURE SHOT OF INNOVATION

admin — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 11:45:09 +0000

Many pleasurable activities are categorized as sensation seeking (varied, novel and intense sensations and experiences). These activities are also somewhat risky such as:

• Parachuting
• Snowboarding
• White water rafting
• Hang-gliding
• Bungee jumping
• Rock climbing
• Motorcycling
• SCUBA diving
• Racecar driving

These aren’t the only types of sensation seeking activities. Any activity that can be described as the following is believed to be sensation producing:

• Thrill and Adventure Seeking (risky physical activities)
• Experience Seeking (new experience through mind and sensation)
• Disinhibition (other people or partying, social drinking, sex)
• Boredom Susceptibility

So, I’ve added some more to the list:

• Partying
• Traveling
• Discussion
• Unconventional actions
• Music
• Watching Porn
• Compulsive Shopping
• Gambling

The list is endless. Many activities can provide for novel and intense sensations. The good news is that these activities are pleasurable and good for us. They contribute to our happiness. Here is why:

If we take in an unpredictable experience that is risky, we activate part of our brain (the reward circuitry) that rewards us with good feelings (pleasure, happiness, or satisfaction). Both negative (being punished) and positive (being kissed) experiences activate the same part of the brain . It is more about a chemical in charge of anticipating an event, than whether the event is good or bad. The chemical released when engaging in sensation seeking is Dopamine. Dopamine commits your body to action.

It has been argued that novel experiences release Dopamine because it challenges you to act. Dopamine helps you decide to act as it signals to the body that something important is about to happen (anticipation). Dopamine signals to the body that something will need to happen to respond to new information. However, Dopamine is only part of what gives us a sense of satisfaction or pleasure.

Cortisol is argued to be the other component. Cortisol is released when we experience stressors. The best type of stressor that combines with Dopamine to feel pleasure or satisfaction is physical stress, or physical movement and exercise. Because we need stressors in order to feel pleasure or satisfaction, it has been argued that pleasure includes a component of discomfort.

Some of us are more open to these sensation producing experiences than others. High sensation seekers have high thresholds for intense auditory and visual stimulation. They also tend to engage in more drug use, sexually risky behaviors, and violence. The goal of the sensation seeker is to increase arousal. Some researchers argue that high sensation seekers have “stimulus hunger ” and produce low levels of dopamine.

Most of the time we perceive sensation-seeking people to be bad or emotionally unbalanced. But, these types of people are most often the creators of new ideas and ways of doing things. They are the explorers in society because they thrive on new information and experiences and find it pleasurable to take risks.

The bottom line is that sensation-producing activities can be a source of great pleasure. It is beneficial to think about which sensation-seeking activities you may want to incorporate into your life. Anything that provides for novelty and is somewhat risky will do it – “bad” or “good.” Try it and see if you can increase the pleasure and happiness in your life!

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100 Ways To A New Life

admin — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 21:53:35 +0000

I don’t remember where I got this exercise from (if you wrote it, please let me know so I can give you credit). It relates to increasing pleasure in life because it addresses things that you would like to do in an ideal new life.

Sit down for 20 minutes (set a timer) and turn all electronics off except for your computer. Write down everything you want to do in life, people you want to meet, or experiences you would like to have. Write anything down no matter how crazy it may seem. Do not filter your thoughts. Put the list away and look at it every once in a while. You don’t have to plan on how to achieve these things. You will find that you will naturally do the things you need to do to get the things you want. However, it is good to look at the list every once in a while to remind yourself of your ideal life and to also make modifications.

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HOW TO DO MINDFULNESS

admin — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 07:53:59 +0000

Check out this blog post. It explains mindfulness in a simple and straightforward manner. It talks about formal and informal mindfulness and explains the 8 characteristics of mindfulness such as nonjudgment, acknowledgment, nonstriving, equanimity, letting be, self reliance, etc. As I have written in previous posts, mindfulness is essential in being able to find pleasure in life. Read the post and try it out.

How To Format A Kindle Book

admin — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 23:36:45 +0000

I don’t tend to write on the technical aspect of blogging or publishing, but this was such a royal pain in the… When formatting your book for Kindle this is what you have to do:

Take out all page numbers, headers and footers, and styles (such as the ones you use to separate the document into sections)
Take out all spaces between sections because it looks funny on the Kindle format
Take a screen shot of all tables and insert into document as picture
Save document as htm in Word
Use Calibre to convert to MOBI (Kindle format)
Open up MOBI document in Kindle to make sure it looks ok.
If not re-edit and re-convert.
Save MOBI file to desktop
Upload MOBI file to Kindle Direct Publishing

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SIMPLE PLEASURES AND HAPPINESS

admin — Fri, 20 May 2011 07:21:22 +0000

Scholars have noted that having no pleasure in life leads to particular emotional and mental states. Depression, schizophrenia, addiction, anxiety, obesity have been reported to be indicative of a “missing ability to experience pleasure.”

Pleasure appears to be necessary for a healthy and happy life. ENGAGING IN PLEASURE IS THE WAY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Endorphins are released when we engage in pleasure. Endorphins are a crucial to emotional well being; they are the body’s natural opioids. Endorphins decrease pain, increase euphoria, release sex hormones, and enhance the immune response. They are the body’s natural pain medication. In his book, “Eat to Live,” Dr. Furham states that endorphins have an equal effect to Valium. The more endorphins we produce, the better we feel, and the less depressed or mentally ill we get. The body releases endorphins when you eat chocolate, exercise, laugh, orgasm, get moved to tears, meditate, think positive thoughts, rest, connect with nature, sunbathe, eat a chili pepper, get scared – to name a few things.

What these experiences have in common? They are pleasurable. Hence, start to design your life around pleasure! It will change your life.

Add Don’t Delete: Changing Your Life

Designing A New Life: The Areas in Life One Must Address

You Can Change Your Life! Commit To It.

How Much Money Do You Need To Have a New Life?

Does Money Make You Happier?

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ARE YOU DEPRESSED? CAN PLEASURE GET RID OF IT?

admin — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 11:37:02 +0000

I’ve been depressed over that last week or so. According to the criteria listed below, I didn’t have a full blown depressive episode, but I was feeling depressed. There was no way someone or some list was going to tell me I wasn’t! When you are feeling depressed, it is difficult to gain any perspective.

Depression is so prevalent in our society that 20-25% of women and 10-17% of men suffer from depression. According to the DSM, you are depressed if you experience 5 or more the following symptoms nearly every day over the same 2 week period:

depressed mood most of the day
diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day
significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain or decrease or increase in appetite.
insomnia or hypersomnia
restlessness or being slowed down
fatigue or loss of energy
feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness
recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying)
recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan
suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

After feeling really depressed on a particular night this week, I spent the day at the beach with friends. Needless to say, I didn’t feel depressed anymore. I wondered whether going to the beach helped because it was pleasurable, or because it was a distraction, or both. I realized it didn’t really matter as long as I was feeling better.

Research studies have shown that increasing pleasure, either through brain stimulation or through increasing pleasurable activities, changes depressive states in research participants. One study noted that the more a person engaged in pleasurable activities, the better their mood. The other study determined that stimulation of pleasure points in the brain helped combat depression. The reality is that engaging in pleasure, just like my day at the beach, helps reduce depressive moods.

In the end, it doesn’t matter who says pleasure works or not, because you have to try it out for yourself. Next time you are feeling down, try doing something pleasurable to see what happens. Or better yet, in order to keep depression away, make sure you are engaging in pleasure regularly!

References

Bewernick, B. et al. (2009). Nucleus Accumbens Deep Brain Stimulation Decreases Ratings of Depression and Anxiety in Treatment-Resistant Depression. Biol Psychiatry.Jan 15;67(2):110-6.

Lewinsohn, P. & Graf, M. (1973). Pleasant Activities and Depression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 41, 2, 261-268.

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Change Your Life Forever: The Most Important Question To Ask Yourself

admin — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 17:10:57 +0000

If you haven’t answered the question, “What is my purpose in life?”, you should give it a go. A purpose gives you a reason for living and guides your decisions in life. It is different from a goal. Goals are drafted in order to keep true to one’s purpose. A purpose is different because it will provide you with meaning. People are generally happier when they engage in more meaningful activities — meaningful in regards to your purpose in life, not meaningful in regards to what others think is meaningful. A purpose will also help you overcome obstacles in life and motivate you when you are feeling down.

I wish I had known this a long time ago. One of the biggest reasons I think we should answer this question is that it challenges our beliefs and/or feelings we have about our value. Do we value our life and our efforts enough to commit to a purpose? It may seem like an easy thing to do, but it is not because answering the question, “What do you want your legacy to be?” may put you in a place of having to value your existence a great deal. We think that legacy is for the important folks. But legacy is for all of us. Every single one of us can and should leave some legacy. Every single one of us can and should have a purpose — if only to make this world a better place to live. If we all could engage in a purpose, we would all be happier. Greater happiness worldwide will contribute to more justice. We should all feel we have an obligation to defining our purpose.

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