The Pleasure Cure

Changing behavior has often meant that I had to stop doing something.  Sometimes I have wanted to stop eating as much, sometimes I have wanted to stop talking to someone, or sometimes I have wanted to stop procrastinating.  My focus has always been on STOPPING or on deprivation. But, we engage in behaviors for a reason.  Maybe we eat too much because we are stressed or because we want to forget about an emotion.  Or maybe we don’t want to talk to someone because we are afraid of being hurt.  If behaviors (even the negative ones) helps us cope with life, stopping from doing them would be counterproductive.  For example, if I try to stop eating so much what do I do about the stress or the emotions?  Instead, the answer may be to think about adding things to our lives, not subtracting them.  Those things are simple pleasures!

If we add things (e.g. more exercise) to our lives, the focus on the problem behavior (e.g. too much eating) will diminish.  Secondly, adding things gets us away from having to cheat and feel like we are losers because we can’t resist.  Thirdly, adding things provides us with an opportunity to focus on ourselves; to find out what we really want and need.

I want to stop being so obsessive about things.  Instead of trying to stop being obsessive I have decided that every time I get an obsessive thought, I need to bring the focus back on myself and where I want to go.  The focus on myself is an addition, just like more exercise would be.  Why?  The obsessions have been a way for me to not focus on myself.  If I obsess over something or someone, I don’t have to think about myself.  A major component of focusing on pleasure is to focus on yourself.  It is easier sometimes to run away from thinking about what we need and want.  When we focus on ourselves, we are saying that we are responsible for what happens to us.  We go from being a victim to being a creator.

If you want to change a behavior, stop and think about the things that would add value to your life.  Add them to your life and witness how the behavior you want to change suddenly loses its importance.

Possibly Related Posts:

• DON’T ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU WANT SOME ANSWERS
• THE REWARDS OF UNHAPPINESS
• Another Life Changing Habit
• How To Handle Obstacles When Changing Your Life
• SIMPLE PLEASURES AND HAPPINESS

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