The Pleasure Cure

DON’T ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU WANT SOME ANSWERS

You can spend hours, days, and even weeks and a lot of therapy trying to answer questions such as: Why do I get so angry? Why didn’t I get that job? Why did she dump me? There are times when it is good to look for answers, but there are other times when it is best to let it rest.

Questions cannot be answered with any accuracy. There are many answers to the same question; I could understand my anger, for example, to be rooted in some childhood trauma or I could understand it to be rooted in a need to manage stress. The answers we get depend on the book we are reading, the person we are talking to, or the time in which we answer the question. It may even depend on the weather.

When we ask questions we go into our heads (we think) and we remove ourselves from what we are experiencing in the moment. Looking for answers takes us away from just being. We spend a lot of time on Google or reading books looking for answers and we spend less and less time in a non-thinking state. To simply be and not ask questions lets us experience full contact with our experiences and ourselves. In a non-thinking state we experience the moment at hand with greater intensity.

Gestalt theorists state that a person grows when in full contact with the moment at hand.  Full contact means being aware of an experience and not letting things such as fear, anxiety, sadness, or guilt interfere with the contact. This is a mindful, meditative, and non-thinking state and it promotes growth and access to a different form of knowledge.

Typically our source of knowledge is tangible and conscious, in the form of books, movies, dialogue, etc. However, we have access to a different source of knowledge. It is intangible and somewhat mystical. It is accessed through moments of not thinking.  When we are in a state of non-thinking, we have access to knowledge that is beyond our conscious or physical experience.  It comes to us in a state of being and non-thinking.

Scholars argue that taking a break from thinking and from looking for answers is crucial to the creative process. Often, brilliant solutions or thoughts surface when we are in a state of rest and relaxation and when we are not in direct pursuit of answers.

So, if you want different information about your life or about a situation, take a moment and don’t ask anything.

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